Me and my Music

   I've always loved music. But, y'know, who doesn't? I like the silence in my life being filled. I love rain on my roof while listening to Metric songs in acoustic. Sad songs calm me so much, and make me feel floaty and calm whether I'm angry, happy, sad, whatever. Angry songs like Paramore got me in a certain mood, then got me out of being angry. I consider this kind of music an outlet. Certain bands give me a nostalgic feel, especially Metric and Badly Drawn Boy. Along with those two, The Decemberists enchant me with their calming yet disturbing songs.
   Once I got into J-pop, I forgot about my favorite music. I let the anime and vocaloids swallow me whole and take away my other pleasures. For that year, I started longing for something. I kept thinking back on 'the good old days' where I spent less time on my dad's laptop, which I used 24-7 then. The J-pop was also a part of this longing. I longed for before I let my fascination destroy my interests. I somehow, unconsciously, told myself, "This is it. This is your new music. You can't listen to that anymore." But although I still like J-pop, I don't let it get all over me like that anymore.
   I begin to wonder if I'm the only one who this has happened too. Now I love listening to all my favorites, and I no longer judge based on a song's language. That helped me a lot. Now I no longer feel the longing for nostalgia. Why? I have, through many ways- music being just one of them- became my past. Not in a scary way, but I've taken my past loves and joys and mixed them with my modern ones. I spend less time on my electronics and more time filling sketchbooks. I make bad mix CDs and crush on boys who obviously like me. I've written my own handbook, and I don't need anyone to rewrite it for me.